Total Southern Moment, boys can stop reading now

I feel quite out of place most of the time and today was no exception.  I had to have my picture taken for work, so naturally I got all Scarlett O’Hara about it.  My makeup was totally the bomb today if I do say so myself. Skills I never use, people, but I have them.

Oh and Religious Police? I am talking about professional photos here.  Like tv makeup. Not go out and walk the streets for money makeup. Not let’s go pick up some oil sheik and wear the clumpiest mascara and smeariest kohl ever with glitter makeup.

Then the photographer did not show up until the afternoon and I rushed into a side office to powder my nose.  Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized I had “no makeup” on for a Southerner, but entirely too much for Switzerland. 

As a public service, I am going to share with you my How To Wear Makeup in Pictures Without Looking Like A Crackhead based on today’s look. This is skewed towards my pale sisters because unfortunately that is how I roll.

1. Wear the sheerest foundation possible for your skin tone. If you have great skin, don’t wear any. Thicker foundations have a lot of the stuff that makes people flash white.  Ditto for SPF. Wash and reapply your SPF afterwards if you have to have the SPF.

2. An urban legend is that you have to keep stuff matte. This is sort of true, but a smidge of pearl is fine as long as you aren’t glittered up like a rave party. I heard from good authority (the source that shall not be named) that too shiny of a highlight on your brow looks random in pictures. 

3. Eyes: this is my tried and true picture look.  Especially if you have small eyes or glasses.  Now is not the time to pull the Dubai Mallwalker Glitter Kohl and Madonna Clump City Mascara.  I know some of my sisters can rock that look but pictures are not the time.

a. tightline your upper lid with a dark brown liner on the outer third only. The quick and dirty way to tightline, for the uninitiated, is to poke it in your closed eye like old skool kohl and move the pencil out.  Obviously a clean pencil would be good here, give it a new sharp and a wipe.

b. remember ballet class? use a white eyeliner next to your tear ducts, ballet recital style.

c. use a matte light beige or white eyeshadow on your lower lid and ever so lightly on your browbone (if you have doubts, blend)

d. In your crease, wear a light to medium taupe or brown.

e. curl your eyelashes to open your eyes up.  Wear a low key mascara (now is not the time for Dior Show) that gives a little color but not too much length or volume so as to avoid the Madonna look. Voila.

4.  Cheeks: whatever your flush color is. You need the blush for contouring (well at least some of us do) and in my case, the best look is a matte dusky rose.  Several Shu Uemura blushes fit this bill, like M Amber 82 or M Pink 31. Even though bronzer is my one true love, I laid light on the bronzer today.

5. Lips: you need to go with something slightly darker than your lips, but not so dark Bozo accuses you of stealing his look.  It all depends on what colors you like to wear, but I find brownish reds bring out my eyes more, so I wore a sheer matte brownish red and blotted so that it looked like a stain. I have seen other people rock the sheer plum looks, the classic example being Monica L.’s lipstick in that famous interview. No I am not typing the full name or the name of the lippie because I don’t want that kind of blog traffic but holla if you want the lippie name. The light pinks I normally wear all day every day are too light for pictures.

Tags : good times