Irrational Dislike

Welcome to this week’s installment of Irrational Dislike. I do not exclude the presence of some remixes.

These are things I dislike despite the fact that logically I should either know better or let it go.

1. I hate it, hate it, hate it when people refer to children, kids, infants, whatever, as “little ones.” Little what? Little midgets? Little crumb snatchers? Just call them kids, babies, or make up a nickname. Sheesh.

2. I don’t like teal or turquoise eyeshadow. On anyone. I don’t care how “high pigment” it is. Yes, I am talking to you, Mac Parrot.

3. I don’t like it when I see pictures of really pale redheads who have obvious sun damage on their arms and chest and yet have perfectly white, freckle-free faces. Having freckly arms is not fierce acceptance of the freckles and high self-esteem and Freckle Power. It means that you put sunscreen on your face and did not put it anywhere else and then proceeded to walk around in the sunshine. I love the freckles and embrace the freckles but the floating white head on freckles so massive they have blended together look bothers me. My freckles are face-body proportional thank you very much. Mainly because -and I did this in my days of jahliyyah as well- I know that even the best sunscreen is no match for simply covering that stuff up.

4. I hate cell phones that do five hundred different things. All I want in a cell phone is an alarm clock and a basic phone function. Sadly this is harder and harder to find.

5. I do not like anything but my head being on my pillow. I have been known to change the pillowcase when people *not naming names like Hombre or anything* put stuff I deem germy on my pillow. No books or newspapers or cell phones on my pillow please. However I see nothing wrong with using a 30 year old baby blanket that is likely full of mites and mite carcasses at this point so obviously I have issues.

6. And I really hate it when people use my washcloth. What is up with that? Who shares washcloths? I can’t be alone on that one. If I am alone I will check myself in the hospital for OCD. I would rather share my toothbrush than share a washcloth. That’s how nasty I think washcloth sharing is.

7. I have a problem with sharing my prayer outfit. I know I should be all benevolent and help people pray to get baraka and all that, but I don’t like smelling other people on my prayer outfit. Not that other people smell funky, I am just sensitive to other people’s human smell. I have like bionic smell. I only reluctanty share my rug, but I get skeeved if the forehead touching area looks ganky. For this reason I try to bring my rug to the masjid. The idea of my forehead touching where feet have walked seriously bothers me. Even if someone has wudu doesn’t mean their socks can’t have the funk.

8. Oddly I do not like posh French accents, but have no problem with Quebec accents, which most normal human beings think sounds like quacking ducks. Quebec accents are music to my ears but when I hear someone from Neuilly-Auteuil-Passy talk I want to rip my ears off with a butter knife.

9. I do not like it when people yell or make shouting noises in songs. Say a word, sing along, but don’t just randomly yell. Oh and “yieuh” does not count as a word. I heard this one madih and this dude was just screaming. I get it, he’s getting happy, but I can’t feel the love if someone is yelling.

10. I don’t like matchy matchy headscarves unless you are wearing black or white. Purple with a purple headscarf bothers me. I don’t know why. I have seen some people pull it off but I definitely cannot- I think my discomfort at being matchy matchy shows. I don’t like double denim either.

Blah blah blah hate is a strong word and all that. Irrational dislike y’all.

Tags : random